Throughout this day....

Outside my window... There is cold-cold and much snow, with more yet-to-soon-come our way. Away, over-and-through to just beyond our property is the adjoining property of another--our neighbor and friend. Chubb, is there working at his new-and-presently, for-now job of farmhand, assisting the kind and conscientious, Jonathan, in the management of a large farm and all it's much that needs tending to and doing to be kept running smoothly. Yesterday, was his first day. He was up and off on his way in the earliest morning, having been thoroughly breakfast'd, wished and prayed well, and given a take-along lunch.

Mid morning, Rosie and I made a quick drive over, pulled in, and saw him ambling along looking much the contented, care-free farmer boy (one of many on the long country road of mostly Amish families with many care-free, contented farmer boys), in his Carhartt overalls and coat, and other layered winter woolies. He was warm. Too warm, he straightaway reported, which the concerns of my every wide-awake-and-wondering mother's heart with it's tender sensibilities that had pulled me there in the first place were so pleased to hear--because, it was cold! So, here, today--day number two of his new job--outside my window, beyond the reach of my eye's seeing, but not my heart's vision, is Chubb the Bubb.

I'm so proud of him, out there working hard throughout a good number of hours of the day--cold and snow of a not-so-mild winter, then home, robust and rosy-cheeked, to warmth and welcome, a bit of visiting and sharing of the day's events with the many eager to hear and to share themselves, then on to his studies for a good and focused while.

This is the current plan and way of things, and I marvel at the continual ebbings and flowings, comings and goings, all of our lives lived out individually yet so intimately intertwined; the changes that life holds that in some ways, sometimes, take place nearly indiscernibly while others anything but so, throughout it's many moments, day by day, marking the way to what is to be, that even then and though, will in time simply/and at times simply not so, give way to another ending and the beginnings of yet something else. Outside, for now, the cold cold and snow and more snow, but seasons change, and once again most assuredly, the warmer, kinder, gentler, burgeoning with all-things-new-and-lovely longer days of springtime will come, as they always do. 

I am thinking... That I can't really believe that I'm here, in the beginnings of writing something to share on the blog. It's been so long that doing so feels a bit strange and unfamiliar, while at the same time, like roller skating or riding a bike, or even hitting the road--once warmer weather rolls back around following the more house-boundish days and ways of a winter--and walking for mile after mile after mile, warmly comfortable, instinctively coming back to me and enjoyed, thought by thought, letter by letter, word by word.

Just thinking about life being made up of countless precious relationships, the communication moments--from the seemingly superficial and fleeting to the deeper and far more intimate, and unique and varied exchanges that make those relationships happen and grow. Thinking about the wonder and workings of it all taking place not just here at home and beyond in the face-to-face, but via the vastness of the internet--blogging, facebook--overall, and desiring to find my way in my way. As always, it is good to be here,and maybe, yeah, maybe, it's just a matter of thinking through and feeling out just how....

I am thankful for... God's grace and intricate never-let-go and never-ending deep work in my own life and in the lives of the many of those that I love and care about.

For His love--and all things beyond-my-understanding-of-wonderful that flow out from it,

ceaselessly--whether I feel deserving, and despite the fact that I am in fact and in deed woefully and truthfully, not, in and on my own.  

How beautiful, His grace, that bought me and sought me, covers me and carries me, and is keeping me and making me, His own. I hold fast to the knowing (and by faith believing) that He is ever and forever the same, never changing in His love towards me (and how I do like and love and thank Him that it's so), always desiring my good and best, and working within and without (despite me and my unfaithfulness) to bring it to pass.

I'm thankful, most of all, today and every day, that I am my Beloved's and He is mine, because of who and how He is.

I am wearing...A soft, black knit a-line skirt (my favorite, most comfy, and well-worn), with black tights and a lavender cross-over top, my friendly and familiar things of everyday--favorite sterling dangling earrings crafted by a beautiful local artisan that just the thought of makes me smile, my gifted fancy watch that's not really me, but was so thoughtfully kind in the giving of that it has come to be, and my dear old danecraft  sterling lily pad bracelet. My Dansko clogs are kicked off on the floor beside me and my legs are snugged-up crossed beneath me while I type, listening to music playing and the chatter of the younger children busily doing some math problems on their own with a bit of Julia's overseeing.

I am remembering... A dear and beautiful friend, Shelly, once so full of life and liveliness that recently went home to be with the Lord after a fast and ferocious, heroic battle against cancer--a brain tumor. Thoughts of her and her precious husband, Bob, also my very dear friend (who is now making his way along, by God's grace, without this one that he so deeply and dearly loved and enjoyed, having shared a lifetime of so priceless and humanly irreplaceable much with) have filled my mind and heart much of the morning. Welling up to overflowing sweetness in the remembering turning to sadness in the knowing that all that's remembered is for now, in the way that it was, no more, and it all being turned over and offered up in prayers to the One that is able to gently though profoundly work and affect deep on the inside (where the hurt of loss is "ocean deep and wide") as no one else is able. Please, if and as the Lord brings Bob to your heart and mind--me having shared here now--do pray for him, won't you? And, for beautiful Kathy, as well, also having said a heart's too soon farewell for now, as I'm sure she is missing life as she knew and loved it with George, the beloved potter, more than any words could ever say. 

I am going...to be sewing a skirt or two today, Lord willing and I hope! The very same type of skirt that I'm here sitting Indian-style wearing as I write, re-purposing some knit fabric from some old but lovely Hanna Andersen clothings that I no longer wear, but am glad that I've held on to. I'm also going to read aloud to the little ones and hopefully write a couple of letters. Whatever I do, know that I'll be doing it .snugged in close to the warmth of the wood stove. That is a given. No doubt one of us will bake some cookies or a cake as is the nearly every day way, and I'll be eating some of that, too (if you came by you could eat some too, and I would most likely sew you up one of these simple skirts as well ;o)!

I am currently reading...and nearly finished with a wonderful book by Lysa Terkeurst, "Made To Crave". It's wrung me out and filled me up, made me think and think some more, long for more of Him (who loves me truly, deeply, selflessly and entirely), repent and weep deepest hands-held-over-my-face, gasping for breaths in sorrow and regrets from-the-inside-out torrents of tears, as He used Lysa to lovngly but firmly illuminate that which only He knew needed illuminating.... What a blessing the making of my way through has been. George, that Papa here, casually mentioned it to me one day after having heard Lysa share on the radio on his way home from work. Though that was all I knew of it, I somehow knew it was meant to be for me (and maybe for you too--I mean, how often do I blog, and here I am, up and out of the blue sharing it with you! ;o). I'm reading several others too, but for now, I think the mentioning of just this one will do.

I am hoping...to re-visit a church that we went to this past Sunday. From the first moments of walking in I liked it straightaway, more than a little. There was a beautiful woman that immediately caught my eye, beyond beautiful, really, because she smiled so much at so many. I don't know that there's anything quite so beautiful to me as a one, any one, that smiles freely and often at many, the overflow of their heart speaking volumes with nearly no need of words. How I love that. What a gift in the giving, is the acknowledgement of and approval expressed towards the many, many longing for just such to be so, is the sweetest gift of a warmly sincere smile and loving eyes looking out from behind it. She softly and quietly made her way around from one to another of dear ones that didn't escape the notice of her tender eyes, and themselves smiled beneath the warmth of her way. The church is the people and there were so many, so precious, there in that place. The preaching was some of the best I'd ever heard and I can't wait really, to hear it again. I had to keep biting my lip and fighting back tears, I was so moved and affected by the Word of God being shared as it was. Before leaving, that sweet smile made it's way my way, and honestly, it was one of those moments of meeting a one that you somehow feel  you've known always, and even if you never would have met them you would have spent your life missing them in that place unique and set apart place where they would have been.

I'm also, hoping (which is mostly praying), that my dear, sweetest (of women and) friend (to so many), Melissa, (and all those so precious to her of hers) are getting little-by-little, day by day, by His loving grace and provision, through the transition and over to "the other side" of the making of their way into their lovely new home, near to Katie. How very often they come to my heart and mind--for my sake, and for theirs (truthfully and sadly--though not for me, and God understands all the whys, mostly for mine. xo). What a beautiful, beautiful family, nuclear, extended, and beyond (and that would be me and mine)....

On my mind... These simple words "It's never the wrong time to call on Toad. Early of late he's always the same fellow. Always good-tempered, always glad to see you, always sorry when you go!"~~-Kenneth Graham. I've spent some treasured and memorable time the past couple of weekends, each with a different family of very dear friends, and have spent many of the moments in-between-times pondering the idea and out-workings of friendship (that leaves you with the no-other-quite-like-it feeling of having been friended), what it is and how and why. What makes a friendship special and why it would be so.

Seems, a friend likes you just as you are, and enjoys you, because of (without a doubt who they are as well as) who you are. A friend, is sincerely glad to see you or hear you, and lights up at the sight of you or the sound of your voice making your/or it's way, his or her way. A friend knows you--beyond superficial (by degrees and ever longs to know you more), because they listen to you and hear you, and thoughtfully respond to you by turns, in return.

A friend graciously and non judgementally knows what you meant to say even though you may not have said it well, though only the best that you could. A friend, takes what you offer--the good and the not so good--and sifts it all through their greater and sensitive understanding of you overall, and their heart of love, covering you, believing in you, desiring God's very best for you and for yours in every single way. A friend, makes sacrifices of their time and giftings, as best and as often as able--who they are and what they have, and finds joy in return simply in the doing so. The tip of the iceberg of my ponderings. How very grateful I am for the love and shared lives of my friends (among whom are many of you, and for this I thank you, far more than just thank-you).

Noticing that...I've already quickly typed 2064 words! 

Pondering these words... Always pondering words. And, speaking of words (holding out Life) and friends and the loving of and being loved by, God gifted me with these words, just yesterday and held me close, quieted my heart, and loved me through them. These, simple words, of my beloved sister and friend (and many of yours, too) beautiful Ann, with no need of the fancifulness of the "e", Voskamp, there at that quiet place of the (softly real, embracing and healing) "Holy Experience", "Whatever happens today--this is the Plan..."

In the kitchen... Rosie and Julia, are finishing up the makings of supper (which, in the words of Rosie, is "chicken stew, herb-y twisted bread sticks and homemade tapioca pudding for dessert...mmmm!" ;o), the table will soon be set, and in a short time we'll all be gathered 'round, sharing in food and loud and lively "jibber and jabberings"--the sharings of more than a few of those now out and about throughout the day/s making their way home and back to the ones that have remained and been busy here. So much to tell, so  much to hear. I just the other day read through all the text of a cookbook (and went over all the delightful recipes) that I so enjoyed--all in one sitting--of the value and pleasures of the time honored "family meal table". Maybe, in time, time will ajllow for me to share some of the so very much worthy of sharing from it's lovely pages. 

Around the house...The shift is taking place, as one by one, those away begin making their way back home and into "the fold"--as always, a celebrated greatly anticipated time of the day. The wood stove warms on, as does the music play. Much has been done and made, and read and said. Though louder this time is also quieter, as another day, well-lived with countless-much to be thankful for, begins to draw to it's still a good many hours in the getting there, close .

One of my favorite things...Without a doubt or any thought whatsoever, people, people, people. How grateful I am for the priceless gift of each and every one that God sees fit to put in my way, and me in their's. Through them (and them, being so many of those of you, as well, among the them), each uniquely, touches and affects my life in a way that only they could. Though admittedly, not always easy, and sometimes beyond-painfully hard heart-wise (though the least of all and not often, and even through those nearest, dearest, and best, as God knows just how to get where He's wanting to go--deep inside ;o), it's through the gift of people--each so dear, that we learn and grow, are challenged, held, encouraged, inspired, loved, and changed by, by His grace in and towards and through us all. 

The photo above...The somewhat quiet spot (the "Mother Ship", remember?)that I revisited as windows of time allowed, several times throughout today, this day, where and when I sat cross-legged like that big "five-year-old-that-never-has-a-birthday" kid (inside of me), and quickly typed out these many words (two thousand, nine hundred and nineteen words to be exact--*whew*, typepad says so! ;o) I now hit send on, and leave here with you.

Thanks so much for taking the time to come by and visit once again, though I've been so long away. Thinking of you-each one, that  makes your way here, and smiling at you softly, with much love, Jewels

P.S. I have thought much about the blog, and my failure to do so, and in doing so, this: I've set up an "Eyes of Wonder" page on FB, in hopes that I can be more faithful in sharing there (and not just sharing, but interacting, than I've been able to be through the blog), and through there, meet up with those of you that I'm blessed to  know already, and those that I can and would look forward to coming to know, through FB, and then go on to be really-truly friends with (and share more freely and intimately with) through my regular FB account. Do come visit with me there, if you have a FB account and find you might have the time and inclination--it would be your gift to me. Sincerely, Jewels

Many thanks to Peggy, for coming up with the great idea of "The Daybook" (creative, community--inspiring bird that she is, and has always been) and for taking the time to host it and spread the good word. Miss you, my friend. Thinking of you, always with much love. xo

Comments

[Jo]

Hi Jewel,
So glad you have written a new post. I missed you. Do you have to be "on" facebook to read your facebook page? We are not and I would love to read your writings! Answer when you can. :O)
Love,
Jo

[Deanna]

Dearest Jewels,

So lovely to read your thoughts on this cold winter day. I can picture being in your sweet home, by the wood stove, with the ebb and flow of life all around...I can picture it because it is like my own life here!

I am excited by your FB page for Eyes of Wonder. See you there!

[Tracy]

So, so happy to have read your post this evening, Jewels. Than you for taking the time to share a bit of your lovely life with all of us who are in our own respective homes, loving our families just the same.

[Kelley]

So very happy to see a post from you Jewels!
We too recently lost my cousin to a very quick and ferocious battle with ovarian cancer {6 weeks from diagnosis to her death}. She is with the Lord but we still are having such a hard time with it...
Glad to know that all is well and I hope that you know how much you have been missed!

[Beth]

Welcome Back Jewels!! Missed you. Beth

[Heidi]

thank you - going back now to read it all again - and soak it in. I love you - Heidi

[Ann Voskamp@AHoly Experience]

Beautiful you!

Ah, the wind blows cold and everything shudders tonight, but your words, all luminous with Christ, they warm me right through.

A word from a friend, echoing the Word --- your gentle words were what I needed tonight and used of God to lead me on.

How you are a forever friend, Jewels.

Battening down the hatches tonight... and thanking Jesus for you.

All's grace,
Ann

[vintagerose]

Lovely to read your warm and uplifting posts Jewels.
God bless you.

Melissa

[Barb]

Hi Jewel,

You have been missed. I don't comment much, but you always touch my heart and my soul when I read your words. Thank you for sharing your heart today.

Blessings,
Barb

[Mrs. Rebekah S.]

Dear Jewels,

Thank you! Thank you for eloquently sharing your heart and in so doing, sharing how the Lord is so faithful to work--ever completing that which He has begun. I do not know how it is that our Father can use us in the lives of His other children even though many miles removed and even though we have never (or not just yet) met---but I am so glad He is able. :) So, thank you for being willing to be used of Him.

May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you Peace. So happy to see the opportunity to connect with Facebook. I have only commented a handful of times in the past three plus years, but I have read and been blessed and prayed for you.

Grace and Peace!

Rebekah

[Totrainupachildwithlove.blogspot.com]

my heart soared to see you posted here today. and then to become your friend on fb. i am going to bed delighted. thank you jewels. you are precious to me.

all my love,
amy

[Michelle Bibby]

Jewels,
Your writings are so beautifully put together for those of us who enjoy your blog. Someday I hope to meet you and face to face tell you how encouraging your writings have been in my life. I love seeing God through each of your life experiences.
Blessings,
Michelle

[Susan]

Hello, I think I found your blog through Coffee Tea Books and Me - and you are in my Google Reader. I was very happy to see a post pop up; thank you for the precious words of encouragement. God bless your day.

[Katy]

Jewels,
It is just wonderful to hear from you again! :) It's refreshing to read your words and heart.
The book you are reading sounds wonderful and is on my *wish list* for when money allows!
I wish you a very wonderful rest of the week and look forward, fingers crossed, to hearing from you again sometime soon!? ;)
Joyfully,
Katy :)

[Angela]

So lovely to see you back with another post. I love your thoughts and ponderings. I did rush a little over your post but look forward to returning and taking time to absorb in all that you have to say.I had a really blessed day and to read your post topped it off. Love Angela

[Tina, the quiet homemaker]

Jewels, I've missed you so. So lovely to 'hear' your voice again. Love, Tina xxx

[Ronda]

Hi and Good Morning!

As always your sharing of yourself, so sweetly, openly and lovingly, once again, causes me to think and wonder about new things.

It was lovely to read from the over-flow of your heart, home, head and life. Words seem to flow from you as easily as breathing, and the effect your words have on others....immeasurable! Lovely, positive, thought provoking and more!

Stay warm, and may the Lord continue to bless you and your family always.

Love & Prayers,
Ronda
Have A Peachy Keen Day!

[Brenda@Coffeeteabooksandme]

Oh, how beautiful it was to quickly check Google Reader and find YOU there. I love reading what Rosie has to say and she is 99.9% almost as good as seeing you.. but no one can replace our Jewels... and I'm sure Rosie would say the same for she is her own person.

We cannot go anywhere today, even if we wanted to after the BIG STORM that began Tuesday night, was awful yesterday, and is winding down today. (((HUGS)))

[Rosie]

Thank-you Mama, for yet another lovely, lovely post. You say everything in such a beautiful way, and with such truth...love you!
~Rosie

[Raquel]

Precious friend: So, so good to have you sharing again. Love to hear about your everyday doings and thoughts and feelings. Hope you have a blessed day. Much love to all - Raquel xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoXO

[Ruth Kaup]

How wonderful to see you this morning! The ice and snow have us snuggled indoors today, but we have power! So thankful! My hubby wanted us off FB. Just too much drama and threat of harming friendships if we just deleted certain people. We left FB, but have more time! LOL Always love hearing from you. How is your health? Give my love to your family. ~ Ruth...in PA

[Andrea@Flourishing Mother]

beautiful words on friendship, Jewels. I am needing to hear that today as I wrestle with that idea..you are such a kindred spirit...
I thank you for your words...you bless!

[tonia]

Well, you've made my day Jewels. I'm so very happy to see you here and though we've hardly interacted I do consider you a friend of my heart. Thank you for giving here. You bless.

[Mary]

Hello, Julie! I was delighted to read your posting and wishing I were there! You and your family are so dear to my heart. I was baking yesterday, wishing you were here to sew me an apron that would be very wide over my chest (so many are narrow there) and one that didn't come to my ankles (short-stuff I am). Wish I had a sewing machine, though I really don't care for it nearly as much as gardening! Love you all :)

[julie hogben]

Just drinking in your words knowing how much I've missed your insights! Thank you!